Things Could've Been Different
by Ragged Claws
Summary: 1979. Regulus requests that James see him one last time. James x Regulus, James x Lily. A one shot.


**A/N: This one shot is dedicated to SiriusRulez. I hope you enjoy it.**

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**1979**

"Nox," James Potter murmured softly, the small light at the end of his wand disappearing. He crept beneath the shadows formed by varying shapes of urban decay, wishing he hadn't leant his invisibility cloak to Wormtail.

"_Prongs, could I borrow the cloak?" Peter asked, tugging at the sleeve of his robes nervously._

_James looked up from the parchment he was reading_

"_What do you want it for?"_

_Peter shrugged._

"_Work for the Order, of course," he answered._

"_Tonight?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Just give him the cloak, James," Lily interrupted from her corner of the room, "It's not as if you need it for anything – I thought you had tonight off?"_

_James nodded at her, muffling a sigh. He had been hoping that Lily would've kept her mouth shut. There was no point in rebuking her, though. As far as she knew he had nothing planned for the night, and revealing that he did would only arouse suspicion._

_Reluctantly he'd handed over the cloak to Peter, knowing full well that without it he would be taking an even greater risk._

James swore under his breath, cursing Peter for his bad timing. Suppose he was spotted by a Death Eater? He was very close to where the Order had surmised to be their current territory, after all.

Or worse yet – suppose he was spotted by a member of the Order? James was sure it'd looked suspicious if he was found in possible enemy territory without having received directions to be their.

Perhaps guilt was just getting the better of him. After all, he was fraternising with a Death Eater.

_The tawny owl had come in the dead of night, tapping on the glass pane of the window of the Potters' bedroom with its beak._

_James had awoken and risen, leaving a sleeping Lily lying peacefully beneath the covers._

_Opening the window, he removed the note from the owl's beak._

_**Prongs,**_

_**It's been a long time since we've spoken, and tomorrow will be our last chance. **_

_**Midnight, 148 Baednodna Avenue - bring or tell no one, or you will have betrayed me.**_

_**Know that this is my one remaining wish,**_

_**R.A.B**_

_James' eyes filled with tears. A mixture of confusion and anger suddenly plagued him._

_Tearing up the note and wiping his yes, he made his decision._

He approached 148, rapping the wooden door softly with his knuckles. Kreacher answered it shortly, glaring at James with obvious suspicion.

"Master awaits you," he croaked, "Kreacher will take you to him."

James gave a curt nod and followed, trying to ignore Kreacher's muttering as they moved through a gloomy hallway.

"What does master want with him?" Kreacher murmured to himself, loud enough for James to hear, "He mixes with dirty Mudbloods, he is an enemy of the Dark Lord…"

James gave a sigh of relief as Kreacher finally stopped before a closed door.

"Master will see you in here – do not try any funny business or Kreacher will know."

James placed a shaking hand on the knob and turned. He didn't know what to expect. For all he knew this could be an ambush, but something inside him made him press on.

He swung the door open and entered the room.

_The two boys kissed fervently. They stood alone on the banks of the Great Lake – it was in the early hours of the morning. _

_It was James who broke the kiss._

"_Why'd you stop?"_

_James could see the hurt in his friend's eyes._

"_I don't care what anyone thinks – especially not my brother," Regulus spat._

"_Really, it's not that," murmured James._

"_Then what are you ashamed of?"_

_James turned away, as if to leave, but Regulus grabbed his arm._

"_It's Lily," James confessed._

_Regulus seemed shocked._

"_What, Evans?"_

"_Yes."_

"_You hate her, Prongs!"_

_James stood in silence for a while, staring back at Regulus._

"_I love her," he finally said._

"_But what about us?"_

_James turned away. This time Regulus did not stop him._

"There's so much to be said, Prongs," Regulus began, rising up from his chair and walking toward him, "I really don't know where to begin."

James said nothing as Regulus ushered him over to a seat by the fireplace.

"I suppose you're wondering why I called you here."

James nodded.

"Just a little," he said, averting his gaze. Whenever he had looked at Regulus he was reminded of Sirius – it wasn't just the dark shaggy hair, but the stormy grey eyes that the two brothers shared. Regulus was also younger than Sirius, shorter and stockier.

And after all, he had chosen to follow the Dark Lord.

Regulus sighed a little.

"Tomorrow I leave on a mission with no intention of returning. I cannot tell you what I plan to do, but I can assure you that it is not to aid the Dark Lord," he paused for a moment, "in fact, it will only serve to hinder him."

"What will?" James stirred, finally speaking.

"Perhaps you'll find out if this war is ever over - perhaps never – but either way, I can't tell you."

"You betrayed me," James whispered.

"I fell in too deep."

Regulus stretched out a hand to his childhood friend, but it was ignored.

"James, I'm sorry."

"_Get away from me, Potter!" growled Regulus, brandishing his wand._

_James stood his ground, his eyes shining fiercely behind his glasses._

"_You're a fool, Black," he hissed, closing in on Regulus, "you really think the Dark Lord will reward you for your allegiance? He doesn't give a damn about you – to Him you are nothing but a pawn!"_

"_And how is that any different to what I was to you…you used me, James."_

_Regulus felt the sting of tears forming in his eyes. He made to brush them away but James had already seen._

"_I hate you…" Regulus whispered._

"_Kill me, then."_

_They both knew that he couldn't._

_Regulus apparated._

"I never hated you, James," Regulus said quietly.

"You loved me."

"Yes."

He moved in closer, running a hand softly across the other's cheek. James shivered at his touch.

Before Regulus knew it James' lips were covering his own. He had never thought he would live to feel their rough, urgent kisses ever again.

It was Regulus who broke away first. The ashamed look in his eyes reminded James of Lily. For a moment - immersed in the rapture Regulus had ignited within him - he had forgotten she even existed.

"I should go," James finally said, breaking the tense silence that had engulfed the two of them.

"It really is the end, you know," Regulus said, tears falling freely.

But James didn't. And he wouldn't. Memories of their time together would plague him forever. Occasionally he would dream about Regulus, waking in the dead of the night to only the sleeping form of Lily beside him.

"Things could've been different."

"No," Regulus shook his head, "you and Lily belong together."

James bit back tears as Regulus prepared to apparate.

"Take care, Prongs."

And he was gone.

It was a good fifteen minutes before James left the room to find Kreacher.


End file.
